Just last week I was having coffee with a friend who has 2 daughters. 2 of my boys are in the same class as her girls so through the constant school/class issues, I know her quite well. She asks me lots about these good awful puberty years seeing as Bee is a few years older and whilst I share our own experiences from our home we normally find the humour in it all and sympathise with each other on this journey of parenting.
Today she was emailing me how her husband was pissing her off as she had bought a red wagon to tote some gear and he had complained it wasn’t THE RIGHT type of red wagon – something soooo inconsequential but which was a huge arguing point for a good hour… I get it – not the wagon issue, but how something and nothing can blow up before you know it…….
Over coffee last week she had shared that another friend of ours had taken her son over to a pal’s house but on return the kid had told his mom that he didn’t want to go over there again as the pal’s brother had shown them a gun. A real handgun. Holy shit! Like the reports you read about in the papers – it is this type of scenario you read about where fatal accidents occur…a sibling messing around with the firearm etc. Of course the friend had never let the kid over to play again but is it right to question the firearm situation every time you let your kid go and play at someone’s house? Whilst you can’t ‘guess’ who would or would not have a gun in their house – it’s a question that would piss a lot of people off if you even asked it.
Another friend had been put on the spot when she dropped her child over at someone’s house in the summer and the other mom opened the door and there was a big whiff of marijuana coming from inside…. here you can get this legally for ‘ailments’ with a sympathetic Dr’s note – there are over a hundred shop fronts – openly displaying their prices here….. friend had told the mom that she was sorry she had a headache and needed to get high and eliminate the pain with a spliff first thing in the morning but she wouldn’t be leaving her kid there……
Just today Bee was saying another girl from school who moved to a different State, now goes to a school where there’s a metal detector at the entrance… looking for guns is the normal day routine for these 8th Graders (13 and 14 year olds).
It’s a scary old world out there and of course you want to protect your kids but shield them too much and they will of course come a cropper when they’re put out to experience the world alone.
Today I was able to go to the movies and saw a small budget film – apparently taken from the Screenplay of the same name….. really fascinating and similar subject….playground fight between two boys that gets a bit rough, one kid being injured and the parents meeting up to discuss what should be done to both boys to realise the seriousness of the consequences. A really good film that makes you think….and shows the different parenting styles hat whilst so similar in many respects, can soon blow out of all proportion….
If you get chance, go and see it…..
We’ve always been a bit quiet about how other folk parent their kids.
They do what works for them.
But, yeah, we do grimace when we hear things they say or see things they do.
We make mistakes and we try to learn from them.
We hope others do the same.
The thing I’ve concluded is that kids often grow into pretty decent human beings not just because of what we do to them but also despite what we do to them.
Good job really. :-)
Hmmm, the marijuana thing. I once had to ask OH’s brother not to roll a joint in the kitchen of his parents’ house (he smokes openly in front of them and his kids) because I thought it was inappropriate in front of my (then) eight year old son. I’ve no problem with anybody smoking pot if that floats their boat (though long term heavy use generally turns you into a crashing bore in my opinion), but NOT IN FRONT OF MY CHILD.