The boyfriend.

A few weeks ago I picked Bee up from school and the boys had something going on (chess club, hip hop or the like) so it was a rare treat to just have us laydees in the car. As per usual I asked her about her day and what had happened in class etc.

“Weeeel,” she started…..”Sam O’Keefe asked me out….”

“Wwwoooow!” I squeaked (thinking ‘At last! Here’s something I KNOW ABOUT!!!’) – adding – “and you said….?”

“Erm….. well I told him I’d have to discuss it with my parents….” she replied.

AND I thought ‘WTF?’ as in ‘Are we THAT controlling? Do we make you wear a burka?’

I was floored although I didn’t say so. We talked some more and it turned out that she wasn’t sure. He had slipped a note in her lunch box…then asked her…. and then given her a silver ring….all before she had said anything. Her ‘friend’ told her she had seen Sam pick the ring up off the floor as though he had just found it – which slightly took the edge off…but none the less I was liking the style of Sam….

In talking about it, Bee explained that she had discussed it with her friend Izzy in Religion class (mm) and they had made a list of pros and cons (Oh God – hope they destroyed it..potential slander case there)…..and she STILL wasn’t sure but she was going to tell him the next day.

And she did. She said no. And of course he said he wasn’t bothered. At all. It was a joke ..and every other ‘look like I am not bothered’ excuse a 14-year-old might have. Bee was devastated then, despite my run down on the usual tactics of wounded pride of 14 yr old lads. (Fear not, Sam is now apparently dating a girl in North Carolina he has never met, but speaks to on Skype. I know. WTF doesn’t even cover it)..

But I was still very proud that Bee had discussed it all with me. Although it took a fair few friends (and my shrink) to point out it was a GOOD thing that she shared it all with me…and that it is so unfortunate that because of MY background, it seemed such an alien thing to me….

Anyhow.. fast forward to LAST week and a school dance. Hubby picked Bee up and I spoke to her the next day (I was in the mountains with the boys.
She then told me that Robbie had asked her out. And that she had said yes! (No burka/parental hesitation this time). But she wasn’t sure she had done the right thing….and I was not to tell the boys.

I didn’t.

We got to school last Monday and Bee scuttled off to the back doors (so she looks like she is cool and doesn’t know me and the boys at all) meanwhile I wait at the front school door with the boys and a few other parents/kids including GobbyMom (GM) who yells to me ‘Ohhhh Mumof4…. you should have seen Bee at the dance on Friday….. Boy was SHE getting wooed!!!’ My boys all stare at me with their eyes aghast and I just say ‘Oh yeah, she told me all about it!” thinking that GM would get the hint and shut up. But oh no…she went on…. “Oh he was KEEN ON HER! MMMM hmmmm… buying her bottles of water, and cookies….. oh boy does SHE have an admirer…….” I just smiled and resisted the urge to kick her and luckily the bell went leaving Paddy, Mac and Rory to wonder all day who was wooing their sister. I said nothing…..

But the drama continued with Tuesday being Valentines Day…. and the dilemma of should she get anything for Robbie… after much umming and ahhing she went to the store with Hubby (who was not helpful and suggested 2 pocket flashlights on sale for 5 bucks) and she got him a large ‘Hersheys Kiss.’ and then we had the whole ‘to wrap or not to wrap….’ Oh the drama (I wrapped it for her in the end – using masculine paper which she frowned upon the next day as it wasn’t Valentines Colors…… I joked to Hubby that knowing Bee, if he didn’t cough up anything for her we’d be having the Hersheys Kiss watching tv that night….

Anyhow, gifts were exchanged yet no words were spoken. I also drove past school later and saw a ‘more established’ 8th Grade couple exchanging gifts too like they were hand grenades and again it was all a mute action….

So Bee came home with nice chocolate hearts and asked if I thought Friday would be too soon to dump him.

Not the best sign. I told her to give him a chance.

Seems they didn’t talk in school and she felt awkward around him. And they texted a bit but ‘HE DIDN’T USE PUNCTUATION IN HIS TeXTS!’
I am getting quite good at stifling giggles but even this pushed me to the limit. For real? I told her he was shy etc etc but she was really uneasy with it all.

Friday I picked her up and she was late to car pool. She had been doing business – ie finishing things with him. And he shook her hand..???? Again? Huh?

I told her if that was what she wanted to do that was ok but I hope she had explained herself to him (she hadn’t) and that I thought she could have given him a bit more time after school to see him and get to know him…

I FELT SORRY FOR HIM. I really did.

She didn’t say much but on that same night she asked me if i thought it would be ok to text him and I thought it would as long as he didn’t give him mixed messages……so she texted and he didn’t reply. And she stewed and worried. And I told her it would be ok. But I was pleased (too harsh?) that she was thinking about the knock on effect of her actions.

So they have texted they will talk tomorrow and so tonight Bee was going over some of the things she could say. I am advising her to be honest but not too honest (I told her she couldn’t say he wasn’t her type!). She is not sure of it all. And she said tonight, ‘you see Mom, I just OVER ANALYSE things…’ and I thought…

“Oh. Em. Gee. She is SOOOOOOOO my daughter……”

(but I still feel sorry for him).

(Names have been changed out of compassion for some of the names their moms actually gave them in the first place).